Defusers - Words That Build Connection & Communicate Safety

Use these phrases and sentences in a conversation to de-escalate a situation that is heading toward someone losing their temper.

Austin Anger Management - Since 2006

• I love you, and I want you to be happy.

• I love you, let's not fight.

• I want to listen to you.

• Tell me what you think.

• Tell me more about that.

• What would you like?

• I was wrong about....

• You were right about....

• Let's give it a try.

• How about we take a break for .... and talk again when we're calm.

• Let's talk about this when we see our couples' therapist.

• Let's see if something else could work better.

• What would work for you?

• I can see how/why you would feel/see/think that way.

• I shouldn't have said it that way.

• I shouldn't have said that.

• I shouldn't have said anything.

• I'm sure there was a better way for me to say that.

• That makes sense.

• You're probably right about....

• Can we start over?

• I'm willing to try that.

• Let's talk about that when we're in a better place.

• Let's try an experiment.

• I want to find a way that this will work for both of us.

• Would it be ok if ....?

• I need your help.